Dear Jesus

This morning I pulled into a parking space at work and sat in the car for a few moments before going inside the office. I was reluctant to leave the solitude of my car for the distractions of the office. As I sat looking out the window at woods distorted by rivulets of rain water flowing down my windshield, I said a quick prayer: "Dear Jesus, please help me to know you as my best friend."

On the ride in to work this morning I was thinking about the past 57 years and how much has happened. Yesterday I turned 58 years old. So much has changed in my lifetime, yet some things have barely changed at all. For example, my perspective on Jesus has been for most of my life as a bearded man in robes who endured a cross for my sins about 2,000 years before I was born. I understood He loved me and wanted to restore the relationship between His Father and mankind; and I knew that His Spirit was sent to us as our personal Counselor to help us live the 'Christian walk'; but He's always been more Savior than brother to me, too holy and busy leading more obedient and passionate Christians to spend time hanging out with this worldly disciple.

It's only been since reading books like "The Shack" by Paul Young, "He Loves Me!" by Wayne Jacobsen, "What's So Amazing About Grace" by Phillip Yancey, and "So You Don't Want To Go To Church Anymore" by Jake Colsen that my eyes and heart have been opened to how much Jesus wants a personal relationship with me. Far from the dry pages of scripture, these books have revealed to me what Joseph Scrivens sensed 150 years ago when he penned "What a Friend We Have In Jesus." While Scrivens' message focussed on trials and temptations, he understood that Jesus was the kind of friend who was willing to walk with us anywhere if we'd just invite Him into our circumstances.

Prior to reading books like those mentioned above, I came from a legalistic, literal background, and I was afraid that if I read and accepted something that wasn't verbatim what is found in scripture, then I was risking my salvation. I'm learning better. Perhaps the book that has most affected my perception of God has been "The Shack" - a story about Papa - the Father disguised as a beautiful black woman; Sarayu - an almost physical Holy Spirit, and Jesus - the brother who loves to wrap His arms around you and lead you on walks through the woods and across waters. The Shack and these other books have challenged my understanding of what I've been taught about God for most of my life; but they ring true and because of the God they reveal, I feel as though I've found the door that allows me to have an intimate relationship with Him.

Paul warned us about telling people about God's grace and Jesus' sacrifice and then loading them down with legalism - putting them back under the bonds of the Law. The Shack succeeded in presenting the God who got saved between Malachi and Matthew. We no longer need to worry about a schizophrenic God who wavers between holy justice and conditional love depending upon our performance. Papa is not the God who takes out His wrath against mankind on the person of Jesus, His only Son. Papa is the God Who keeps a constant vigil for every lost child and who picks up His robes and runs to embrace those who come to their senses and admit that His ways are better than their own. Jesus is not the unfortunate victim of an angry Father and a sinful world who went to that cross reluctantly, begging for God to come up with another solution for saving humanity. Jesus charged directly at sin, risking His own life to save those whom God loves passionately. As Wayne Jacobsen, author of "He Loves Me!", points out - only Jesus could hold the Father's passion and the weight of all sin upon His person and bear it until the Father's passion consumed sin.

When you really understand what Jesus meant when He said that He came not to condemn the world, but that the world, through Him might be saved; you understand that God doesn't want to punish you for your sins, He's not angry at you for failings, He's not uncomfortable with your filth and scars or your low self-esteem; but He's passionately in love with you. If you understand His love, grace, and forgiveness, you no longer need to appease Him out of fear of hell; you're free to love Him. Papa doesn't want servants, He wants relationships. Religion serves, love fills the emptiness in our hearts, and allows us to see God the way Jesus spoke to us about in scriptures.

And so this morning I asked Jesus to come be more than my Savior, but to help me know Him as the friend He has always been to me. I know that as I spend more time hanging out with Jesus, I'm going to start seeing the world not through my distorted viewpoint, but through His. I may have to let go of my alter-ego, Bubba BiGot Jr, III and become a new creation in His image.

Some things change slowly, but I'm grateful that God doesn't leave us like He found us. We could 'what if' our past decisions for eternity, but thank God that He never stops coaxing us towards Him. If, occasionally, I slip up and say or do something nice or out of character for me; just know that it's Jesus putting His hands over my soulish mouth and speaking through me. And if at some point I become this totally cool and loveable guy who everyone wants to be around - just know that He's almost done with me and it's time to go Home.